Thursday, April 01, 2010

Spotting an IITian on f***book 101

Note 1: This post is written by analyzing only 'guy' IITians, because 'girl' IITians is too small a sample-space to be useful for any meaningful statistical analysis. A previous post on f***book can be found here.

Note 2: This is NOT a Fool's Day prank!

This post has been named 'Spotting an IITian on f***book 101', because, this is like a course. It has no real-world applications (unless there are a host of people [read girls] that I am unaware of trying to discover IITians), but reading this would give you a lot of (useless) information.

Below, I will list out traits, one or more of which are invariably found exclusively on the profiles of students from Indian Institutes of Technology. (Caution: This is applicable mostly to people currently studying)

1) Single

It is a glorious badge displayed on the profile. "Hey there, I am single. ;) " Their "Looking for:" will read "Friendship, Dating", and their "Interested in:" will read "Women". They will also have an awesome profile picture, a picture which they feel makes them look really cute/smart/sexy, but they end up looking like a jack-ass. And yes, an amazing "About Me:" section, which will tell the world that they are as good as a guy can get. Of course, all this seldom works.

2) Friend of the Day

They will use such applications everyday, and by some magic/divine intervention, the friend f***book picks is ALWAYS a girl. Other variants include 'Date of the Day', 'Who has a secret crush on you?' and the like. If, by any chance, the application has a name such has 'How many girls secretly admire you?', the answer will be a number greater than their age, which is ironic, because often they don't have that many girls on their list! :D

3) Cuteness Index

They tend to use applications which tell them how cute/sexy/romantic they are, or how well they know girls, and the result that they get from these games/quizzes is ALWAYS the best possible anyone can get. This does not impress anyone who reads these updates on their wall, but it does help them boost their ego a little bit, and enable to see them the light at the end of the tunnel. Because, hope doth set you free...

4) Intelligence Quotient

IQ is one thing every IITian is proud of. So, he feels obligated to show this off to the world by playing any and every quiz that tells them that they are "among the top 0.5% intelligent people of all f***book users". These tests have become so credible, that soon there will be no need to conduct silly examinations like JEE, and cracking these quizzes will be enough for somebody who wants to study at an IIT.

5) What's on your mind?

Because the homepage is refreshed every 5 minutes, they see "What's on your mind?" every 5 minutes too, and then say to themselves "Oh crap! I will have to share what's on my mind again :| ". Not only this, they feel it imperative to post the results of each and every quiz they took and game they played on their wall, so that its updates are displayed on EVERYONE's wall. And yes, if they don't get any new updates from their friends on their homepage for more than half an hour, they will post something like "Whats wrong with everyone today? No activity on f***book!!! :( ".

6) Friends List

No. of friends > 500
No. of girls in friend list < 10% X total friends
No. of girls in their list who are committed > 90% X (10% X total friends)
No. of boys in their list who are committed < 10% X (90% X total friends)

7) Photo Album

Yes, they will have an overloaded album just to show the world how "happening" their life is. Also commonly found are pictures of inanimate objects shot with a weird angle to show that they are passionate about "photography". 

P.S. : These traits statistically apply to 90% of all IITians. Also, 90% of all IITians reading this will tell themselves, "Thank God! I am in the other 10%!". Meanwhile, of course I belong to the other 10%. :D :P

Spotting an IITian on F***book 101...