7 things wrong with our country

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Note 1: If you are looking for a government/politician-bashing rant, or a discussion about corruption consuming our nation, or a list which enumerates education, poverty, development et al, this post is not going to touch any of those things.

Note 2: This list is relative to things often found in other countries on most accounts.
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#7 Pull-to-open bags

This is a bag of delectable chips.

This is how it should be open-able...

...so we can enjoy our chips like this...

...NOT ruined by this.

If other countries in the world can have this, why can't we?! I mean, how difficult is it?!



#6 Coca-cola

This:

Just look at this. How can you not want to have this refreshing drink with lunch and dinner, and to go alongside the chips in #7. (I skipped mentioning breakfast for the risk of it being an overkill.) For most countries, bottomless coke, or for that matter, any drink other than water is offered alongwith meals by default. Water is the last thing you should be drinking, with the evolution of man.



#5 Airports

They suck. And before you go all "T3" on me, again, they suck. Travelling, especially air-travel, should be an experience, not a punishment. Travelling by air is the pinnacle of human achievement. Think about it, you are flying at 30,000 ft, half-way across the world in less than 24 hours, at more than 900 kms per hour, while dining and watching movies along the way, even watching cat videos on youtube, and liking others' updates about their amazing lives. Not to mention the spectacular views and the perspective you get on our planet.

Airports should present it as such. It should be huge, unlike anything you might have seen before. While you wait for your flight, you should have a magnificent view of the craft from the gate, through big glass panels, so you can marvel at its sheer size, filled with a childlike wonder. Not shoved into buses which take you on a tumbling ride towards your craft. There should be enough seating, clear signs and directions. The immigration should be polite, welcoming to its own citizens, a small "Welcome home." with a smile. The security should not feel derogatory. The experience should be welcoming. It's the pinnacle of human achievement, afterall.

#4 Public Signs/Addresses

A metro station should say "metro station", an airport or a railway station should be navigable from anywhere in the city, with signs that say "Airport -> 15 kms", and a bus-stop should say "Bus Stop". It made me think when a Chinese guy visiting India asked me at a bus stop, "How do you know that the bus will stop here?", and the only response I could give was, "Ummm, because this is where everyone else is standing.". It shouldn't be this way. 

And the addresses should make sense, with numbered streets and crossings. Do away with the MG roads! Use more numbers, PLEASE! This should not be how my address looks/sounds:

Opp. XYZ Hospital,
Near ABC Hotel,
Quite close to Forum mall,
Come straight from PQR Flyover, and take 2nd right, then left.

NO.

My address should look like this:
42, Lush Meadows Residence
7, Riverview Road, Bangalore.

That's IT.

#3 Utility stores / Vending Machines

Fewer malls, please? And more utility stores. Where I can go, pick things, pay money, and get out with minimal turnaround time. Maybe 7/11's at petrol pumps? And every other 100 meters too? And vending machines! Aaaargh. Quick turnaround time!

#2 Breakfast

There are CRORES of people who go to work every day. And they want breakfast. The corn-flakes, and the dosas and the idlys, and the paratha-sabzi are okay. People need to be able to grab a bite in the mornings, and quickly. Croissants, muffins, selection of juices and sandwiches, salads, fruits, as pre-packaged take-away, available close to any means of public transport. Also, coffee. How can so many other countries get this right, except us?! I will not even touch the despicable state of our lunches and dinners, but we can always work around that. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, remember?

#1 Respect for workers

Cheap labour, right? Be kind to the people working at your house. Give the auto-waalas 20 extra bucks. Talk to them, chat with them. Listen to their stories, they have several. Make a joke or two, and see them smile. Trust them. Offer them a glass of water, tea, or food after a few hours of hard manual work by default, which shouldn't be seen as an act of generosity, but of responsibility and of respect from a person, to another. Give them gifts on festivals, give them leaves. Give them a raise when you get one. Share your happiness with them, and be a part of theirs.

So many poor Indians go abroad to work as sweepers, cleaners, carpenters, construction workers, and they do that with their heads held high, with pride. They don't want to come back. Give them that opportunity here. Make them feel that they belong, and that we are fellow-countrymen.

Image ref: Million Dollar Smile

7 things wrong with our country...

Stranger than fiction

Before sunset.

Good morning. It's a wonderful life, jackass. High and low since you went away. Gone with the wind, the lady vanishes. Dazed and confused. That was then... this is now. Devil wears prada, following breakfast at Tiffany's. I'm not there. Wish you were here, the best years of our lives. Stand by me, life is beautiful.

My life as a dog. Coffee and cigarettes. Thank you for smoking up in the air. Kiss kiss bang bang. What's up, Tiger Lily? 'I know where I'm going!'. Whatever works.  Man on wire, walk on the wild side. Small time crooks take the money and run! Breathless chase. Speed. Snatch. Catch me if you can. Dirty rotten scoundrels. There will be blood. Kill! Carnage, pulp fiction. Extremely loud & incredibly close. Anatomy of a murder, blood simple. The act of seeing with one's own eyes, eyes wide shut. Shame, the killing. Anything else? Apocalypse now.




Before midnight.

Hunger. The unbearable lightness of being.

It happened one night, October sky, the Milky Way, city lights. Through a glass darkly, I saw the odd couple. The boy in blue, that girl in yellow boots. A beautiful mind, little miss sunshine - the dreamers. He said, she said - "I love you to death", "I love you too, like crazy." Stolen kisses. Night on Earth, stranger than paradise, bigger than life. Spellbound. And the ship sails on. Play it again, Sam.




Before sunrise.

A walk with Love and Death. The green mile. The long walk home. A night to remember.

Once. 2 or 3 things I know about her. Great expectations. Letter never sent, somewhere lost in translation. The silence, the prestige, unforgiven. Bad timing. Do the right thing. Make it right being there. Requiem for a dream. The pursuit of happyness, love, and other impossible pursuits. Finding Neverland. Inherit the wind, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind singin' in the rain. Dil chahta hai the road to El Dorado, days of Heaven, city of God. Good morning. It's a wonderful life.

Amour.
Hollywood ending.

Kai Po Che!

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Note 1: This post is going to be short, like the movie, and sweet, like Amrita Puri.

Note 2: What a weekend this is going to be for cinema! Kai Po Che! here, 85th Academy Awards there.
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1) I hereby resolve to never bash Chetan Bhagat. Curse him all you like, but his work formed the basis of 3 Idiots earlier, and Kai Po Che now. If anything, his work is atleast giving film-makers a skeletal plot to make brilliant, original movies. And delight for people like us when we see "Based on a novel" in the opening credits (of an Indian movie). Also, gives us hope about writing being taken seriously in our country.

2) Detailing. It is true to the time and place it has been set in, and (almost) none of it looks cheap. Way better than the half-assed attempt in Special 26. Also, they took a source material and made it shine. Unlike Matru ki Bijli ka Mandola or Special 26 where potential was thrown into the toilet and flushed. Twice.

3) Music and score. Amit Trivedi. Need I say more?

4) Raj Kumar Yadav. Sheer brilliance as an actor, stands out in a film filled with good performances (brilliant casting choices) all over the place.

5) Abhishek Kapoor. Also gave us Rock On, knows how to make a movie with a tight running time (125 minutes for this one), brilliantly pacing the story, without introducing unnecessary song-and-dance sequences, as is typical with movie-making in our country.

6) Avoids the obvious pitfalls for such a movie. Deals with the parallel events spectacularly.

7) Amrita Puri! Boy is she cute! If I do a '7 girls...' post like I did last year, she is definitely going to be on it.


Kai Po Che...

most beautiful

I
-

I will say that you are the most beautiful girl in the world, and it will not be true.


In an absolute sense, that is. For one, to call you the most beautiful girl in the world, I would have to see (meet?) all the girls in this world. Not that I don't like this idea, but it would be an impossible thing to do. And that is not the only problem. I mean, you could easily dismiss it as me talking in hyperbole, not that you would have a problem with it, would you? And even otherwise, it could be dismissed as me being cheesy, albeit in a good way, cheesy still. Or, it could be challenged by anyone, no?


II
--

What songs, what words, sentences should I write?

She walks with unsaid words and unshed eyes;
A few steps behind me in the moonlight.
She knows, and that I know not, yet she shies.
Behind me, even the moonlight cries;
So her lips unseal, eyes weep, wrong made right.
She knows, and that I know not, yet she shies.
Doth mystery revealed make romance bright?
Her silence I hear and away I glide.
Romance be mystery, and mystery tries
the truth of my heart, healing from hurt pride.
The shadow remains still, the water dries...
Songs, words, sentences I could never write
A few steps behind me in the moonlight.

III

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"I love you."

Heh, saying it even in front of the mirror is seeming so ridiculous, and I can only imagine how ridiculous it would be in front of her. Maybe I could put it differently.

"Jab se tumse milaa hoon, bas tumhaare hi khayaalo mai khoya rehta hoon. Tumhaare bina mera naa aar hai naa paar. Mai tumse aur sirf tumse pyaar kartaa hoon." Yeah, right. Bollywood would be such a perfect way to go. Damn you, Bollywood! Real cinema, please?


I have to get every expression, every gesture right. It has to be perfect. I will put on a smile first, give an elegant pause, look into her eyes, and just say it. If only I had some practice before! How, I know not, this mirror thing is surely not helping me.

I should also be prepared for everything that she could say. I have to play every scenario in my head, and have an appropriate response for her every response, so that I do not look like a fool after saying it. She could say "Huh?! What?!", and then maybe leave or something. I am a little scared of this scenario, I wouldn't know what to do or say. Well, I kind of know what to say.

I know that I have to tell her. She must know.

On an off-chance, she could also say, "I love you too." And that would make me the happiest person on this planet, not that it is going to happen. But if I am getting prepared for everything, I might as well do an exhaustive job.

We think that a number coming on a dice is a random event. It is not. It is a direct function of how a dice is thrown, and we could come up with a perfect model which could exactly predict the outcome on the dice. This, on the other hand, is a completely random event for me. For I have absolutely no control over it, nor am I in a position to predict the outcome. It has to be lived through to know.


I met her in the evening. She looked beautiful, like always. It is amazing how when I meet her even today, I still feel like how I felt when I met her for the first time. It is such an amazing feeling, something one would want to hold on to for life.

We ordered something to eat, while I was still trying to figure out the perfect time to pop the words. I was nervous. No matter how much prepared one is, when the time comes, it seems like an impossible thing to do. I decided to say it between the food and the dessert, that way, atleast the evening would surely end on a sweet note. And while I made this decision, a part of me hoped that the food never finishes.

Time passed quickly, as is always the case when I am with her, and we ordered dessert. I now had a small window within which I had to say it. How?! My heart was racing! I think I let my nervousness show, even. "I love you", I said. The world around me moved in slow motion, and it seemed like there she was, in front of me, in suspended animation.

Phew, here comes the dessert.


IV
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When I met you for the first time, I remember the electricity. You looked beautiful. Enchanting, really. I don't really remember the major parts from that evening, what we talked about etc. But I remember such minor details that I amaze myself. Details which would never matter otherwise. I remember the sounds of your laughter. I remember the heating up of my ears when I embarrassed myself because of something really stupid I said, and you giggled still. And how I kept on going about something so obvious and trivial, and you looked and smiled. And how you kept going about something so obvious and trivial, while your hands rolled a chocolate-wrapper, which we had had then and there, before finishing up the whole box. I remember how you said that you needed to leave in another 5 minutes, and then stayed on for half-n-hour. And then before leaving, gently added, "So when do I see you again?". I remember how the entire evening felt like 2 minutes. The minor things about that encounter were the major parts of the evening, really.

And then so many other times.

People say that love is nothing more than a bunch of chemical reactions in our head. But isn't it amazing, that this other person could cause such strong feelings? I mean, if we were to dismiss love like this, then we should also dismiss having good food, coffee, chocolates, life, us, because even those are just a set of chemical reactions.


I remember when we met one afternoon, and we were just walking along the street. It was just you between me and the setting sun. The sun-rays trickled through your hair, glistening. I couldn't look away. It seemed like nothing else in the world really mattered in that moment. And in that moment, in that one, single moment, you were the most beautiful girl in the world, in an absolute sense. And then several such times, again.

I'll tell you every day of my life, that you are the most beautiful girl in the world. And when I do, I do not mean right then. I would really mean the moment in which you really were, and I would mean that because I have seen you in those moments, and so many such moments we would have spent together in which you would have been.


I will say that you are the most beautiful girl in the world, and it will be true.

85th Academy Awards

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Note 1: This is probably for the first time that I have watched almost all the movies in contention for the Oscars before the Oscar ceremony, so I might as well do a prediction post, with a healthy 2 weeks till the event. Just for the kicks, and maybe some "pre-Oscar discussion", not that it matters.

Note 2: In every category, I will list one name if my prediction is same as my vote, two otherwise.
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Category	Prediction	Pick	Hit / Miss
Best Motion Picture of the Year	Argo	Amour	Hit! Yay! \m/
Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role	Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln		Hit!
Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role	Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty	Emmanuelle Riva, Amour	Miss. JLaw, oh well. :|
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role	Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained		Hit! Waltz, aww yeah!
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role	Anne Hathaway, Les Misérables		Hit! Hathaway! ♥
Best Achievement in Directing	Steven Spielberg, Lincoln	Ang Lee, Life of Pi	Woohoo! Ang Lee for Life of Pi! \m/
Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen	Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained		Hit! T.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.O. \m/
Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published	Tony Kushner, Lincoln	David Magee, Life of Pi	Miss. But Argo, deserved!
Best Animated Feature Film of the Year	Brave		Hit! Pixar FTW!
Best Foreign Language Film of the Year	Amour		Hit!
Best Achievement in Cinematography	Claudio Miranda, Life of Pi		Hit!
Best Achievement in Editing	William Goldenberg, Argo		Hit!
Best Achievement in Production Design	Life of Pi		Miss. Lincoln, seriously? :|
Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score	Mychael Danna, Life of Pi		Hit! \m/
Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song	Adele, Skyfall		Hit!
Best Achievement in Sound Mixing	Skyfall		Miss. Les Misérables - deserved.
Best Achievement in Sound Editing	Django Unchained		Oh well, a tie! And both misses. (ZDT and Skyfall)
Best Achievement in Visual Effects	Life of Pi		Hit!
Best Documentary, Features	Searching for Sugar Man		Hit!
Best Short film, Animated	Paperman		Hit!
		Total:	14 hits ( + 1 woohoo) / 20

85th Academy Awards...

Dil Chahta Hai

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Note 1: For those special few people.

Note 2: 'Dil Chahta Hai' is very dear to me. Its organic quality has led my movie's interpretation to evolve as have I. I doubt anything else comes even close.
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Agar mai tumse kahoon ki mai tumse pyaar karta hoon, tab bhi nahi?

Mai tum se aur sirf tumse pyaar karta hoon. Meri har saans, meri har dhadkan, mere har pal mai tum aur sirf tum ho.

Mujhe yakeen hai ki sirf isliye janma hoon ki tumse pyaar kar sakoon, aur tum sirf isliye ki ek din meri ban jao.

Tum meri ho, aur agar tum apne dil se poochogi to jaan logi ki mai sach keh raha hoon.

College was great. Sleepy days, crazy, sleepless nights. Nothing could stop us, and we could face everything. We were the world and we needed nothing else. It seemed complete. The balance had been achieved.

Mai kabhi soch bhi nahi sakta tha ki hum dono kahin aise baith ke baatein kar rahe honge.

We set out on our own individual paths, trying to make our own destiny, fighting our own fights, running our own races. Along the way, maybe we had left the things close to us far behind. Struggling, really. Without a clue about what hit us and when. Without realizing that time didn't run as slowly as it used to. And irreparably so, maybe. Maybe. Life happened?

It wasn't complete, and the balance wasn't perfect.

We all have, or eventually will, meet someone. And we will know we have met that someone when:

1) An 'I hate you' from her, to which you can reply with a smile, 'No you don't', comes second only to a 'I love you too' when you say 'I love you' to her.

Tum bhi naa, daraa diyaa naa bechaare ko.

I hate you.

Or, 2) 

Swarg ke darwaaze pe khadaa hai, magar andar nahi jaana chahta

Wo khuda se ek din maang raha hai, Cressida se aakhri baar milna chahta hai

Wo use bataana chahta hai ki wo usse kitna pyaar karta hai.

Agar use wo ek din mil jaaye, to use hazaar maut aur kabool hai.

Or, 3)

Agar wo mere saath hoti, aur kisi ne aisi waisi harkat ki hoti,

to mai use jaan se maar deta.

I would've killed him.

2), 3), must not be taken literally, of course, on account of it being too extreme. Anyway.

Imbalance, incompleteness, imperfection leads to balance, completeness, perfection. Full circle, if you may, stronger, surer than before. Imperfections made us complete. The sum was always greater than the parts, double, even more. Some, perfect, parts, not so much.

The beginning will be the end, the dream still kicking and wildly alive:

Agar mai kahoon ki mai tumse pyaar karta hoon

tab bhi nahi?

Mai tumse aur sirf tumse pyaar karta hoon

Meri har saas,

Meri har dhadkan

Mere har pal mai tum ho

Aur sirf tum ho

Mujhe yakeen hai ki mai sirf is liye janma hoon

ki tumse pyaar kar sakoon

Aur tum is liye ki ek din meri ban jao

Agar tum apne dil se poochogi

To jaan logi

Ki mai sach keh raha hoon

Dil Chahta Hai...

Rajdhani Express (from Rajdhani Express)

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Note 1: I am posting this from Rajdhani Express.

Note 2: I realised that since I have come to Bangalore, I have not done any train journey at all! Specifically Rajdhani Express, it's been almost 8 years since I boarded one. It is the one thing that the Indian Railways gets right after-all (apart from Palace on Wheels, I suppose). I used to absolutely love the experience as a kid. They used to serve soup-sticks with soup. Soup-sticks! On a train! Must have that experience again. I am on an epic 34-hour journey from Delhi to Bangalore. On Rajdhani Express.
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I reached the Hazrat Nizamuddin station in Delhi well in advance. I went to my platform, my train was waiting for me. How sweet! I checked the passenger chart pasted beside the entrance of my coach 'B8', not to confirm my name on the chart, but for a more customary glance to scout for 'F22' to 'F26' "fellow" passengers. This is the reason I had booked a 3rd AC ticket as against a 2nd AC ticket. You have 5 fellow passengers in 2nd AC, but 7 fellow passengers in 3rd AC. I was merely hoping to tilt 'Law of averages' in my favour. If it worked, imagine a cute girl sitting next to you with nowhere to go and no-one to talk to but you for 34 hours. Thirty, four, hours! I could have then let my charm do the rest.

As luck would have it, most of my co-passengers are > 'M45'. Worse, there is a family travelling with an ever-curious 8-year old kid travelling ALL the way to Bangalore with me. The annoying kid began asking his dad weird questions, which apparently pissed off his dad, even. The kid wanted to know a real-time answer to "Papa, train ki speed kitni hai abhi?", asked every two minutes. The geek in me made me tell the dad that there was an android app which he could install on his phone which tells the exact speed using GPS. Indirectly, my way of telling the kid to STFU. Thank goodness for the invention of GPS. One annoying kid shut up. And as if fate hadn't already had all the fun with me, there were two cute girls, my age, sitting bang in the next compartment. I smiled at them, they ignored me, life moved on. I realised that my coach was a bait rather than a 'B8', and I had fallen into its trap.


The clock struck 8:50 PM, and the train moved. Woah! ON TIME?! Like I said, the one thing Indian Railways gets right.

As soon as the train started, the staff jumped to action, and oh boy, first up, soup with soup-sticks! Paisa wasool already! While sipping my soup, I realised that a train journey is so much more comfortable than air travel. You have ample space to sleep, eat, stretch, relax. Plus, for people who smoke, there are two excellent smoking lounges (read: toilets) on both sides of the coach! If only the staff who served food looked like their Indian air-travel counterpart:

So, after a proper three-course dinner, I took out my laptop, and aptly for the moment, decided to watch a romantic comedy - 'The Princess Bride'. Nothing much about the movie, except that I found parts of the movie mildly annoying. It did though answer something for me which I have been thinking about since I started watching 'Sherlock'. Remember the pilot episode? In which the cabbie has pills in two containers in front of him, one of them poisoned and the other not, and our hero has to deduce which one is poisonous and has to make his pick. Well, the case gets solved, cabbie is killed (apologies for the spoiler), but we never find out which was the correct choice. The exact same game is played in 'The Princess Bride', with a solution that is both plausible and mind-boggling, even in the context of 'Sherlock', which made the movie worthwhile.


Another equally awesome discovery I made on this trip was Alpenliebe Mangofillz, which they served with the evening snacks. Oh. My. God. I haven't had a candy so full of joy in a LONG time. Smooth, delicious, filled with raw mango awesomeness! I am going to buy me a jar as soon as I reach Bangalore!

About 12 hours of my journey to go, which includes a movie or two, and another awesome dinner, until Bangalore...



Rajdhani Express (from Rajdhani Express)...