Thursday, August 11, 2011

faceless


Right from the day we were born, when we entered the world, we have been trying to tell people, to show those around us, that we have arrived. Here we are, notice us, respect us, admire us, and love us.

The feeling of faceless-ness first hit me when I was a senior student in school. Students, and teachers, knew us. We had a face. One day, I was asked to go to the nursery section, to "mind the class" for an hour, as the teacher was not present, and substitutions, unavailable. As I entered the nursery section, I saw crowd. Little, teeny-tiny kids all over the place, and they all looked the same. Annoying. And faceless. I realized that, these kids, these faceless kids, this exact set of kids would one day go on to become senior students of the school. They would be differentiated by their skills and talents, and would be known throughout the school. They would have a face. People would notice them, respect them, admire them, and love them.

People who have studied through high-school and senior-secondary in the same school would know how awesome it feels when, suddenly, we transition to being the senior-most students around. Teachers, who often gave us a hard-time became friends, really. Junior students looked up to us with awe and respect, hoping one day they would emulate what we did. It felt special, and it felt like we knew the world. Then, I entered college, and entered the world.


In essence, it was a rehash of the earlier cycle, only more invigorating. Our faceless new batch, freshers, each one trying to find our own place in the crowd. We stumbled, we struggled, eventually coming to terms with who we are, and what we are good at. As we marched ahead in the system, we gained balance. We had a face. A new face. This time, we had discovered ourselves in a surer way than before. It felt special, and it felt like we knew the world. Then, I graduated, and entered the world. This time, for real.

Again, we were just one face in the crowd, faceless, and the crowd, mightier and larger than before. It was overwhelming. But this time, there was a little voice inside me that told me, "It will be okay. You will find yourself, again." I now know that it is a cycle, bound to repeat, and that if we are faceless today, we will have a face one day. I now know that whenever you become a part of something, you begin as being faceless, and eventually find a place for yourself, except...

...except when you were born, and entered the world. When you were born, the instant, right from that very moment, you had a face, in your mother's eyes. You never were, or will be, faceless in her eyes. If you know this, then no matter where you end up being, you will find yourself. :)