Saturday, August 18, 2012


I didn't know if that had been a dream; or if this was a nightmare. Whether it was U who kept him living; or whether it was I who kept her living in him. I thought I gets it. But I didn't.

I was so far away from home, far away from everything familiar. Too caught up with things that did not matter. Too caught up to get a moment to even think about home. And yet, I missed U. Every second. This, could never feel like home. Maybe because it was U who made it feel like home. I saw the world, I went places. I wished U was there with him. To share. Why it mattered so much to him, I did not know.

"Get over it. Big world.", they said. "One life.", I replied. The bigger challenge is not to find your princess.

It's been some time now. It seems like it was only yesterday when I felt on top of the world. How did this happen? Or maybe the better question was, when did this happen? I used to think, trying to understand why it meant so much to him. We are flesh and bones after-all and we will all perish one day. It is the inevitable truth. Does it really matter who you die with? Maybe it's about living with. Yes, I knew who I wanted to live with. That dream, to live in a beautiful house, with a sedan parked in the driveway, a lush green lawn with flowers in front and a kitchen-garden at the back of the house, raise kids, have a family, that dream, was still living. I had seen the dream more clearly now. I had seen who else was in the dream with him.

It's been a long stay away from home. It was time to go back. Home? I wasn't so sure. I sat by the window on the plane, with his earphones plugged in. It was night and the moon was full as he flew across the seas. A song started playing. It was U's favorite song. The clouds below seemed like an endless ocean, calm and serene, happily flowing, oblivious to what went on below. None of that mattered, it seemed. And just like the explosion of colors when the sun sets in the ocean, I saw the full moon in the starry night, and I could see the reflection of the moon in the clouds, in so many shades as he had never imagined, dazzling streaks of silver dancing across the scintillating sky. I was stunned as I witnessed this magical choreography. It looked angelic. And as I beheld this spectacular sight, and as I was listening to U's favorite song, I drowned. Drowned in thoughts, of what was, what is, and what could be. The only imperfection in this moment was that U wasn't there beside I to hold his hands and to whisper those words into his ears, again.


As U walked out of the airport, oblivious to the life that was waiting for him, I stood there, waiting for him. U saw her standing, and didn't know what to do. He was stunned. U walked up to her. "I thought it wasn't a movie. It might have been afterall, and I still don't know it ends.", U said.

I gently smiled, and had a tear in her eyes. Her lips trembled. "I love you", I said.

I, U, became V. And V make us extraordinary.

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