Re: Idiot Volvo bus drivers

22nd November, 2010
Bengaluru, Karnataka

Dear citizens of Bengaluru,

I hope this letter finds you high on spirits (lol, no pun intended!). I am writing this letter so that you gain some insight into my life, before you make those nasty remarks and hold a grudge against me. So what if I drive a bus! FYI, the bus I drive is air-conditioned, and manufactured by a Swedish company, so in a way, I am a part of the elite too. Let me begin...

I was born in the sub-urbs of Bangalore. And, like every child, I had dreams. As a child, I used to look up in the sky, at those mighty flying planes, and used to wonder if I could fly them one day. But, over time I realised, planes? Seriously? What fun would be to drive planes in the sky, without any speed-breakers, or traffic, or fun! Of course, I had heard that there were these glamorous air-hostesses, with more make-up on their faces than butter on my toast, but I decided to sacrifice a little, and get a job I would be really interested in doing and love to do every day of my life. I decided to become a bus driver. Not just any bus driver. I chose to drive the elegant, air-conditioned Volvo, the pride of Bengaluru, and lend my services to the society.

Now, you would like to think that I have a boring job. How could driving buses all over Bangalore throughout the day be interesting, you ask? I’ll tell you how. I make people fall in love. Don’t get confused by the word-play there. People in love (or so they think), fall, literally. The moment I notice a guy giving an uncalled for look to a girl on the bus, I press the brakes so goddamn hard, that, well, he falls. That too when I am cruising the bus quite fast at 3000 feet above the sea level (Remember? I had a dream. In true Martin King style.) And then I have a good chuckle. Sometimes this action becomes a necessity too. When the bus is jam-packed, I HAVE to do this so that people inside can settle a little. Twice, or thrice generally does the trick.

Otherwise, I am generally kind to people (ummm, mostly ladies. Ah, what the hell, always ladies). So when I see a damsel in distress on the road, waiting for me to rescue them, I, as if I were a prince riding my steed, stop the bus in the middle of the road, even if it is not a designated halt. And, I always open the front door for them, not the rear, so that I can have a quick look at their pretty faces and dazzling smiles. Oh, their smiles makes my job worth it, everyday! Well, now, this action of mine does not go very well with some idiotic guys. Not entirely their fault though. If they have been meaning to get off through the rear door, I open the front one, and vice-versa. Sometimes, if there are only few guys who have to get off, I race past their stop, and drop them at the next stop. As if I give a damn. :P And sometimes they tend to argue. To them I say this - "ಹೂ ದಿ ಹೇಳಲ್ ಯೌ ಥಿಂಕ್ ಯೌ ಅರೆ". Did not understand what that means? Neither do they! And precisely why I say that. These non-Kannada people think that they can get away without knowing our native language. Hah, think again!

So, next time you are on a Volvo bus, think about me, and know, that whatever I do is out of my sense of service to you, with a couple of practical jokes here and there. All in good spirit though. :)

Humbly, at your service always,
your-friendly-neighbourhood Volvo bus driver

The Social Network

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Note 1: This post does not attempt to “review” the movie. The movie is brilliant! Watch it.

Note 2: A co-incidence, that this post is being published on the birthday of one of the geekiest guys I have known.
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I get extremely disappointed when people tell me that ‘The Social Network’ is about Mark Zuckerberg, and the founding of facebook. Seriously? That is ALL you can take away from this movie?! That Mark created facebook to get his girlfriend back?! And, I don’t get it. Where exactly in the movie has Mark Zuckerberg been shown in a bad light? All I could see was, a guy, who persevered and stuck to what he believed, and succeeded.

As I said, this is not a review, but I do want to talk about some of the things shown in the movie.

“A guy who makes a nice chair doesn't owe money to everyone who has ever built a chair.”

Exactly. There have been social networks before. So when someone accuses Mark for “stealing” their idea, they are just being losers and want a share of the pie, as big as they possibly can. Sure, legal wizardry may even get you that, but what then? If creativity flows in your blood, no-one can take that away from you. That’s the end of the story right there.

“Ma'am, I know you've done your homework and so you know that money isn't a big part of my life, but at the moment I could buy Mt. Auburn Street, take the Phoenix Club and turn it into my ping pong room.”

Mark is doing something, and doing it passionately because “it is cool”. This is an extension of “Chase excellence, and money chases you.” What is striking about this story (i.e Facebook, and even Twitter’s story till now), that they chose to NOT monetise their product early on. Even this (or should I say, only this could) made Mark the youngest billionaire in the world. The point is, its not about wanting to earn lots of money, its about earning a lot of money just because you can, and hence you want to push the limits. And that making a point isn't always arrogance.


Third, I want to talk about the entrepreneurial spirit. I think IITs come closest to having any kind of entrepreneurial spirit at any campus across the country, which is, of course, peanuts when compared to the energy and the ecosystem at the American powerhouses, meaning Stanford and Harvard. Which is why I want to mention a couple of aspects of the movie which I found extremely real. The depiction of the way Mark launches facemash.com; I have seen that happening in front of my eyes! The scene where Mark hires interns is A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y S-T-U-N-N-I-N-G, and the way he says “Welcome to facebook!” gave me goosebumps. What happens between Mark and Saverin is not betrayal, it is just about taking unpopular decisions which became necessary. And we all have met a Sean Parker in our lives, right?

I would also want to talk about 'exclusive clubs', their entrance "tests", geeks, and the depiction of girls in the movie in general. But that would result in me being off-topic to what I want to convey about this movie. So I will reserve it for some other time.

In the end, this is a story that was just BEGGING to be told, and there are several things about the movie that is open to interpretation, and therein lies its beauty.

The Social Network...

Kiss

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Note 1: "We've never kissed before and I'll never know when to make the right move or anything. So we'll kiss now and get it over with, and then we'll go eat." - Woody Allen in Annie Hall

Note 2: This is one of the most ironic posts that I have made. I am using words to describe something that, umm, well, cannot (should not) be described in words. However lovely and flowery and beautiful words do I choose to “describe” these moments, I know I will fail. Because? It has to be felt. The moments. So, I will try not to describe, and rather urge you to feel these moments yourself. It is improbable that they will fail you.
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A kiss. Probably the highest form of expression of love. Is touching. Is moving. Is powerful. Is emotional. Is universal. Is beautiful. Is good cinema. Yes, cinema. I am not talking about the ones used to sell more tickets over the counter. I am talking about cinematic triumph.

The more you learn, you learn how less you have you learnt. As I present this, I want to clarify that this is only out of the cinema that I have witnessed, but I can guarantee that every bit of this is great cinematic experience, even if they might not be THE greatest.


#7 Rainman

We have the autistic Raymond Babbit (Dustin Hoffman) and Susanna (Valeria Golino) inside a lift. Raymond has never been kissed. And Susanna, Raymond's brother's girlfriend, so touched by his innocence, wants him to experience his first kiss. They dance to the music in the lift! She asks him to close his eyes, and slowly kiss her on her lips.

Susanna: "How was it?"

Raymond: "Wet!"

#6 The Notebook

I have several problems with this movie. But some of the moments in this movie are absolutely genuine. In this particular scene, Allie (Rachel McAdams) and Noah (Ryan Gosling), who had fallen in love, meet after several years. He takes her on a boat in a lake, surrounded with a million ducks! It starts to rain heavily. The differences resolved, and there, that is the moment!



#5 Black

Yup, this is the only movie from India on this list, because quite frankly, most Indian film-makers and the Indian audiences don't have the slightest clue of how to handle a kiss. Debraj (Amitabh Bachchan) is Michelle's (Rani Mukherjee) teacher. Michelle is deaf and dumb, and Debraj teaches her everything about the world. Michelle witnesses a kiss at a wedding, and is intrigued and curious. In one of the warmest and touching scenes, Debraj kisses Michelle, and goes.




#4 Husbands and wives

Gabrielle (Woody Allen) is Rain's (Juliette Lewis) professor. They have utmost mutual respect, for each other's writing. Gabrielle is a (happily) married man. But there is a perfect moment at Rain's birthday party.

Rain: "Because, you cannot ask for a more romantic moment. It's my birthday, we are in the middle of a storm, the lights are out, there's rain sweeping the skyline"

It is mind-numbing how Woody Allen could pull off a scene like this on-screen! The lightning outside the window right at the moment they kiss!




#3 The Matrix Reloaded

Can we possibly talk about 'kiss'es and not talk about Monica Bellucci? Neo (Keanu Reeves) wants the key from the key-maker, and Persephone (Monica Bellucci) can help him.

Persephone: "I'll give you want you want, but you have to give me something."

"A Kiss. I want you to kiss me, as if you were to kiss her (Trinity). Because, you love her, she loves you. A long time ago, I knew what that felt like. I want to remember it. I want to savour it. That's all."

#2 V for Vendetta

V (Hugo Weaving) fulfills his plan, but he falls in love with Evey (Natalie Portman).

Evey: "I don't understand. How can you be one of the most important thing that has happened to me, and yet I know almost nothing about you."

V: "There is not much time. I have something I must give you."

V: "This is my gift to you, Evey. Everything I have, my home, the books, the gallery, I am leaving to you, to do what you will."

Evey: "Where are you going?"

V: "The time has come for me to meet my maker, to repay in kind for all that he has done."

V: "All I want, all I deserve is at the end of this tunnel"

Evey: "That's not true."

#1 Wall-E

Wall-E might just be THE most romantic and artistic movie that I have seen. So much, that I want to do a dedicated post for it some day. [sigh] Wall-E and Eve's romance is so beautiful, it is difficult not to have watery eyes several times during this movie. And can robots kiss? Hell yeah they can!








Kiss...

Dabangg

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Note 1: Dabangg is a (somewhat lengthy) fresh attempt in the Indian film industry.

Note 2: This post does not attempt to be sarcastic. If it does seem that way, it is so NOT. Also, the scale used to judge this movie is solely Indian, discounting any existence whatsoever of "foreign cinema".
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Dabangg is one of those movies which makes you think, "Finally! Finally, you get a home-made movie which is absolutely sure of what it wants to do." Dabangg is NOT a Rajnikanth-movie spoof, nor is it an "intelligent plot-driven cinema", nor does it attempt to claim - "Hey! We have a great story to tell." The movie is about entertainment, and entertain it definitely does!

Salman Khan is a treat to watch on-screen. You can see how much fun he is having on the screen. He claims to be 'Robinhood Pandey', and oh boy does he deliver it! I might as well add that maybe we have got our first true superhero (the Indian Robinhood, if you may), and there is definitely a possibility (which should be exploited to the fullest) of a sequel. Salman Khan is probably the only actor in India who could pull-off a character like Chulbul Pandey. There is this 'Once upon a time in Mexico'-ish feel to the movie the entire time, and the director has done well to keep the momentum going even after the intermission.

The dialogues, witty, the style slick, and the moments genuine. And there is not one moment (surprisingly), when it seems to be over-done. So much that when Chulbul Pandey and Bulbul Pandey (as I would like to call her) are on a honeymoon, we still see Bulbul in a saree, riding an ATV behind our very own Mr. Chulbul.

The sets were genuine, and took you right into the heart of Uttar Pradesh. The colors splendid, and the minute details have been worked out with such diligence, the art design absolutely perfect. They could have worked a little more (or spent some more money) on the special-effects though.

The music is spot-on! Agreed, the music was one aspect of the movie which wasn't very Indian (Spanish/Mexican feel to the background score), but I am not complaining. It blends into the scenes seamlessly. They could have trimmed (or gotten rid of) the songs though, and made this movie well under 2 hours of running time.

Sonakshi Sinha is stunning! Well done Mr. Shatrughan Sinha, kudos to you! :D There is not one moment when she is on-screen and you can get your eyes off this damsel (in distress). I hope that one day, I can barge into some damsel's house, just like that, and say it to her face, "I want to marry you", and she comes with me, just like that! :D But then, it is a movie [sigh]. Ms. Deepika Padukone, be wary of this new kid on the block.



In all, Dabangg is an absolute entertainer. A sequel would not be a surprise if this movie succeeds at the box-office.

Dabangg...

GMail Labs

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Note 1: It was the 'About' page on this blog, on reading which I realized, "Heck! Just two geeky posts!"


Note 2: If you are geeky enough, you would already know what is said here. If not, read on!
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GMail (by Google) is the best e-mail client. The re-vamped contact manager in GMail made me fall in love with it, all over again. The GMail Labs feature is what makes it really very exciting, and truly makes GMail better than being already the best. Enable the Lab features listed below, and see for yourself! :)




#7 Inserting Images

Enable this to insert images into your e-mails. You can insert images from your computer, or from a web link. Very handy and useful. \m/


#6 Quick Links

The good thing about GMail is that every "view" has a unique URL. Quick Links can save any "view" as a link on your left-panel navigation menu, which you can access later. For instance, there is an important mail, or a frequent search that you do. Open that, and save the view as a Quick Link. There you go! No more searches for that again, just one-click access! \m/ \m/


#5 Undo Send

"Damn! I needed to attach a file." "Oh I forgot to add a few lines". Don't these realizations hit you right after clicking the 'Send' button? With Undo Send, you can cancel the sent mail upto 30 seconds after 'send'ing the mail, depending on the settings. \m/ \m/ \m/


#4 Multiple Inboxes/Message Sneak Peek/Inbox preview

I have clubbed these 3 features as one, because they help you towards the same goal - easier e-mail access.

Multiple Inboxes - Add upto 5 additional inboxes. Use can use labels to sort specific types of mails, and make them appear in a separate inbox.

Message Sneak Peek - Just right click on the e-mail to view its contents without opening the actual e-mail.

Inbox preview - Preview inbox even before GMail loads. Extremely helpful on slower connections.

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#3 Old Snakey

Old Snakey is on this list because its cool, its nice, and its geeky. Hit '&' to start and play Snake, GMail style! \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/


#2 Nested Labels

Labels help you sort mails. And Nested Labels lets you sort Labels. =)
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#1 Add any gadget by URL

This is by far the most flexible and geekiest feature, because, you can literally do anything with GMail with this. Here's how you convert GMail into GMail + Facebook + Twitter.

For facebook, add this gadget -> http://hosting.gmodules.com/ig/gadgets/file/104971404861070329537/facebook.xml

For twitter, add this gadget -> https://twittergadget.appspot.com/gadget-gmail.xml

Thats it! Access twitter and facebook right from inside GMail. :D

For a full list of gadgets, head straight to the Gadget Directory.

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GMail Labs...

Snooze

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Note 1: Crack it!


Note 2: Wish me (luck)!
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The devil that invented alarm-clocks, and, oh the angel, who invented a snooze button for it! \m/ \m/

The sweet, sweet pleasure of sleeping that extra 5 mins, and more, and more and more... I thank thee Lord for it! :D

The madness, the anger, the frustration when you were just about to hold her hands with love and the painful, agonizing noise wakes you up, and the contentment in resuming it right where you left it, and completing the dream exactly the way it was meant to end! :D

The foresight, of setting the clock for atleast 10 minutes before you have to actually wake up, just for 'snooze'ing... :)

Like 'Inception', that's the 7 'snooze' minutes which feel much, much more... :)

Though, like 'Inception', the final "kick", it still hits you hard. :|

Snooze...

Inception

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Note 1: I generally don't blog about a subject unless I have a strong opinion about it. I am blogging about Inception because everybody else seems to have strong opinions about it.

Note 2: This movie deserves a watch, and your *complete* attention. :D

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There are two types of people in this world. One, who genuinely understand and appreciate 'Inception', and the others, who say "Inception was AWEOMEEEEE!!!!! It is SUCH a COOL movie", primarily because they couldn't get most of what was happening on screen, and NOT appreciating the movie would make them look like idiots.

First things first -

(a) This movie is NOT better than 'The Dark Knight'.

(b) This movie is NOT going to win the 'Best Film' Oscar next year (It might win some technical Oscars though, and my bet is 'Toy Story 3' out of the movies that have come out so far).

(c) This movie is NOT difficult to understand, contrary to popular belief.

Having said that, 'Inception' is brilliant!

"What's the most resilient parasite? An Idea."

There are some movies that take innovation to such a level, that it makes you wonder "What next?". 'The Matrix' made me think that, and that "next" is 'Inception'. It also gives me confidence that when, after watching 'Inception', I ask "Is there any room left for innovation?", the answer would be a "Yes".

Coming back to the movie, 'Inception' explores dreams. Dreams are universal. We all dream. And we all have concluded at some point in our lives several elements about the nature of dreams, and they have been well explored in this movie. The elements that Nolan has used gives him much room for freedom, and boy does he exploit them! There were ample opportunities for going over-the-top, but he has it under control throughout the movie. Also, the film has ample metaphors thrown into it to make this movie a joy for the viewer. The very idea that the inception of an idea can change so much is mind-boggling. But, as far as exploring psychology is concerned, 'Inception' is nowhere close to 'The Dark Knight'.

"Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange."

The way this movie builds up, it makes you pray to God that you get to watch a worthy climax, and Nolan doesn't disappoint. The Climax! The screenplay! The way it has been handled! Mind-boggling. "Kicks" you right at your face! :D I would give this movie a second watch just for the climax.

Now, the music by Hans Zimmer has been appreciated a lot. I don't see how it was any different from 'The Dark Knight'. I would have loved it if Zimmer would have done a more Sherlock Holmes-esque music for this one.

Second, the levels of the dreams, it WAS a bit of a stretch towards the end, but then I don't blame Nolan for this, I don't see how could he have come up with a more elegant treatment of the subject.

Finally, my only problem with Nolan's treatment of dreams is the level of detail and definition he has given to them. Maybe this is a cinematic liberty he takes, but I perceive dreams to be very vague and volatile. I don't see how ALL dreams can be so definite.

In the end, this movie respects our grey matter, and I respect such movies. :) Mr. Nolan, please keep making movies and keep entertaining us. I almost died waiting for 'Inception', and the waiting-game has begun again for "The Dark Knight Rises". I hope he takes us for a journey as exciting as he always has.

"You're waiting for a train. A train that will take you far away. You can't be sure where it will take you."

Inception...